non sum qualis eram.

It’s not what I asked for;
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you, and you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew

Who’d be reckless — just enough
Who could hurt but who learnt how to toughen up
When she got bruised, and got used by a [girl] who can’t love
And then she’d get stuck and be scared
Of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day
‘Til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but it used to be mine…

She was imperfect but she tried
She was good but she lied
She was hard on herself
She was broken and would not ask for help
She was messy but she was kind
She was lonely most of the time
She was all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone…
…but she used to be mine