it might be better if…

I don’t…think it would matter much if I disappeared.

I don’t mean that in an “I want to kill myself” way, because I don’t at the moment, not really. I’m sad, but not in the pit.

I just…I don’t feel it would make any difference to anyone’s life, whatsoever, if I vanished. It might even make some people’s lives easier. I don’t…belong here. Or anywhere. The whole world is made up of flashing lights and bright images and I’m all words. I’m a book in a world where nobody cares to read. I can’t move fast enough, and whenever I think I can, the world speeds up on me. I ambar ahyanë. I don’t really belong anywhere. And all I do is injure my heart when I look for a place I do.