same as it ever was

New layout, new address, new title, same blog. Nothing particularly new to report except that my inability to concentrate or remember anything is really, really starting to get on my nerves.

Oh, also, I watched Shigatsu Monogatari all the way through for the first time since I first saw it a million years ago, and I loved it just as much now as I did then — if not moreso. It’s such a very, very Iwai Shunji film while at the same time being so un-Iwai, how could I not love it? It almost, almost makes me believe in love and serendipity. And miracles of love.

Tell you what…I wish I could believe in miracles of friendship, but my hackles are still up. Also, still embarrassed — how long was I linking to “my” fanlisting which was actually dead? My stalkers would have had a fucking field day with that, I’m sure. (Paranoia says that this is what the ex-owner of the fanlisting intended all along, but I’m trying to ignore it.) Everything to do with fanlistings is absolute poison, I swear. I’ll still make them, because I enjoy designing sites, and some unbelievably stupid part of me thinks maybe, just maybe, there’s a non-zero chance that I’ll meet someone who isn’t a user or an asshat through doing so, but I swear, that community and the people in it…

Man, the past three years have been overwhelmingly shite on every front. I wonder if I’ll ever find where I belong, or if anywhere will ever feel like home again.


I wonder if I’ll make it through Christmas, to be perfectly honest. Oh well.