days & days

Clean slate, maybe, but the pain still rankles…and my own stupidity keeps coming back to slap me in the face. I am so…I want to say naïve, but I don’t even think it’s that — I’m just outright stupid. It never occurred to me once that if someone is saying they have the same rather rare physical/life features as you do (I’m trying to stay vague so as not to spill my own dirty laundry all over the place), on more than one occasion…they’re probably just saying it to get you onside, so to speak. I have no idea why you’d do that, it seems something a seven-year-old would do (remember when you wanted to be JUST LIKE your best friend?), or someone completely lacking any emotional maturity…and because I don’t know why someone would do that, I don’t know when it’s happening, because I’m not even taking that into consideration. How unbelievably foolish of me.

(Tell you what, I completely understand what Tolkien said when he stated that Sauron never expected anyone to want to destroy the One Ring, because he couldn’t see why anyone would. God help me, I’m as dumb as a dark lord. Moral of the story: expect the unexpected. Like the Spanish Inquisition.)

Anyway, onto vastly nicer things: yesterday was migraine day. Surprise! It took two hits of the Good Stuff (…by which I mean moderately strong painkillers, sigh) four hours apart to kill, and even then it was a bit touch-and-go for a while there. What caused it? Heck if I know! 😀 Probably stress. Living in the same vicinity as people you would occasionally like to strangle some sense into will do that to you, apparently. That, and a doggo who cannot shut up to save his adorable kelpie life, bless him.

(I’m remembering when the most likely cause of my migraines was TransLink, once upon a lifetime ago, and not even going to lie, I kind of want to curl up and cry for three hours.)

First day off in a while…what am I gonna do? No idea. I’ve got a whole list of things I need to do, and lately, for some weird reason, it’s as if I can’t concentrate on any of them? It’s not that I don’t want to — good grief, I do, I want some of this stuff finished ARGH — but it’s like…I sit down, think “okay, I’m gonna work on X, and only on X, until I make a dint in its progress!”, and that works…for about five minutes. Then I’m back to kind of floating between X, Y, and Z (and every other bloody letter of the alphabet) and not really getting anything done. It’s weird. I make lists and rank things by importance, but…nope. No grounding, all floating. It’s really weird.

I shall, however, attempt to master it yet again. ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH, etc.