more than just an awful Colleen Hoover “book”

| Thursday, 9th November 2023

I fell of the wagon. Or maybe I was pushed, who knows. Desperate times call for desperate measures, etc.

Anyway, nicer things.

I GOT THIS FINISHED (or maybe finished…maybe I should do lyrics, as well…hmm…). I’m so proud of it, and the research I did on it would probably make my former professors all groan and facepalm (“don’t be so SERIOUS, Kirin-ssi!”) BUT~ there is it. TyoBabi is love, TyoBabi is LIFE, karaoke is fun, and music is God. (I also bent the spines of my precious first editions to get those scans, so dear god please nobody take them without credit.) I can’t wait to get the rest of City Gardening online, even though I know next to nobody cares about TB anymore. I do, and I have goodies to share. If I share ’em with no one, well…I don’t care. TB makes me happy. Precious little makes me happy as of late, so I’ll indulge in whatever does without shame.

Also got a lot of pixelly nonsense still going on! And a surprising amount of Sailor Moon whatnot. I’ll grow up one day. Maybe. Just not today. 😛

Oh yeah…I did start on my NaNo project, but…let’s be honest, I’m not sure how far I’ll get along in it. Who knows, hyperfixation may kick in and I might cough up 50k words in 12 days — it’s happened before. But if it does, yay. If it doesn’t, yay. The writing/pro-publishing community has left me with such a bad taste in my mouth, and creativity’s hard to come by when the majority of your waking hours are spent either bawling and immobile due to burning pain, or curled up in the foetal position due to overwhelming anxiety. But, you never know. Well, I certainly don’t, at least.

…best save this entry before my internet craps out on me again ><;;;

ああ、今日。 11月9日。 そうそう。 それでは、フィリア、お誕生日おめでとう！ あなたがより良い人間になったことを願っています。 少なくともあなたのために。ふふふ〜

blah blah blah, also words.

| Friday, 3rd November 2023

Yep, it was a cyst. What fun! (Fibs and lies.) But I’m alive, so all good at the end of the day, supposedly.

It’s NaNoWriMo time, and once more I’m not sure I’m going to do it, for neuro-health reasons. There are a few projects I could work on, but it’s hard to stay motivated when it feels like someone is pulling out each of your nerves one by one and putting them through a meat grinder. I know, shocking. I’ve also got a tonne of web projects in the works, some with deadlines, that kinda might take precedence over a month-long novel written “because can”, you know? But who knows, really. It’s early days so catch-up will be a cinch if I do decide to do it. All good, all good.

いつか素直を見せるかもしれない…でも今日は無理や。 そして、ここでは無理や。しゃーない〜

bittered (fuck you)

| Sunday, 30th April 2023

“Women shouldn’t tear other women down!”

If a woman writes garbage poems, I’m going to say that she writes garbage poems, because women shouldn’t lie through their fake smiles to other women, either. That being said, Amanda Lovelace is a hack, that is all, goodnight and goodbye, April.

(I am in a vile mood; could you possibly guess?)

some facts, what spice!

| Tuesday, 30th August 2022

Fact: unsweetened cranberry juice is revolting.

Fact: nerve pain is awful, please make it stop. My body is exhausted but I can’t sleep.

Fact: I made a thing! And did a words! Elrond having twinless twin feels will never not be relevant to me.

Fact: The neighbour saw an eastern brown slide into my yard and hide beneath the bonfire pile. Cue me avoiding that area of the yard for the next ten thousand years.
(Listen to your friendly local OzScot here: you do not eff around with eastern brown snakes. They are not cute and sweet snek friends. They are incredibly aggressive, extremely venomous, and responsible for 60% of snakebite deaths in the country. If you see one, you stand stock effing still and let it go do whatever it’s doing — probably hiding from you, but still. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200, do not disturb it or interact with it in any way.  Keep an eye on it, and when it’s safe, you get the hell out of there and call the snake-catcher if it’s near your home. Also, if your dog or cat has one bailed up, DO NOT DISTRACT YOUR PET. They are a thousand times more likely to get bitten if you distract them. Their snake instincts are way better than yours; just let them be and keep an eye on where they and the snake go.
…this PSA has been brought to you by my horrific fear of eastern browns.)

Fact: the online treatment of the Rings of Power cast is giving me flashbacks to my teenage years and being cyberbullied to within an inch of my life.
I hope every single person who has thrown abuse at any of these actors magically develops a condition that causes any internet service they use to stop working forever.

rain on a tin roof

| Monday, 11th October 2021

it is hot, it is raining, it is humid, and it is gross, but…at least my aircon stopped leaking? like, just stopped as randomly as it started. I have no idea why and I ain’t looking a gift horse in the mouth. or a gift aircon in the…fil…ter? I guess.

set up a PP notebook for me and neechan to share, which should be far more handy than clogging up Facebonk and easier to port if/when DW bites the dust. the user is the only thing that is eternal on the Wired, and there is no Wired without the user. cue Serial Experiments Lain theme here.

(I’d really like to set up a random SELain sorta…thoughtvomit/philosophy page on Neocities, and then I remembered that Neocities is shite and the userbase has the attention span and general IQ of a half-squashed gnat and nobody cares unless there’s a million flashing graphics and the site is literally pointless. sigh. the world’s becoming image-centered and I’m a word-centered girl, despite what the past two years’ inspiration drought would make one think.

maybe I’ll put it on [redacted].Nu. I mean, I got the whole domain for personal stuff, and what’s more personal than my pseudo-deep philosophical ramblings on the state of the Wired?)

Natsume is overheating far too frequently for my liking — and I’m not even playing FFXIV currently, it’ll have to be next pay — but I think that’s mostly down to not being in an adequately climate-controlled area anymore, and at his age, too. he’s not hanging himself or bluescreening at me, yet, he’s just very, very warm to the touch. I have a laptop riser and am constantly putting ice-packs beneath it for super-cooling (and currently have a pedastal fan blowing straight onto him), but eh. he’s a very spicy boy rn. please don’t fry yourself yet, baby. I am not in a decent enough position financially to replace you. give me another year at least T_T

not feeling at all well, and I can’t tell if it’s just the usual nerves-are-demyelinating, brainfog-physfog bullshit, or I’m coming down with something. felt awfully faint for most of the day, inexplicably. I feel fairly decent mentally, if a little anxious about random stuff, mostly interpersonal nonsense. (like, literal nonsense worries, like “oh no what if [x] secretly doesn’t like/love me anymore?!”; that sort of silliness that I can honestly say is just silliness. knowing that doesn’t stop the physical reaction to said anxiety, but hey, at least I can think straight. or as straight as I ever think, ohohoho.

…I’ve been hanging around JE for far too goddamn long.

and I intend to keep doing so, so there. :P)

I have PP snippets eating at my brain and forming like little movies; I need to get them on paper…HTML…thing…as soon as I’m not in mildly severe discomfort. (‘mildly severe’, how is that even a thing–) tried scanning in some WK nonsense for the proposed music+ site and that got exhausting, so that probably says everything about my physical status. demyelination. it’s a complete bitch. i do not recommend it.

in other news, I accidentally downloaded “Keropak” by Hirahara Ayaka (site claimed I was downloading “Aria~AIR”; I was distinctly not…ended up buying that one legally, what the hell) and…that is a cute little earworm, dammit.