we set the stars to dancing in the night sky

| Wednesday, 6th December 2023

I’m going to post this entry and then I’m not going to look at a single other line of code until at least 11am tomorrow morning — I’ve been HTMLing away all day! 😀 I’ve been working on my Secret Santa’s gift, and on these two! I’m especially happy about those two, because I adopted them from someone I was sure didn’t like me (or found me petty at the very least), and I was sure they’d tell me what I could do with myself. But I was worried about nothing! There’s no bad blood between us, they’re a lovely person from what I’ve seen, and I’m actually kind of embarrassed as how anxious I was sending off the initial emails, now ^^;; Haha, paranoid Rin is eternally paranoid, but all’s well that end’s well! I’ll take very good care of the listings for as long as I have them ♥

A load of witchy goodness, mostly journal-related, came in the mail today~ Including candles! Gasp. There’s a first for me. I’ve never been much into candle magick (despite being a witch since I was 17…), maybe a stray spell here or there, but the candle has never been one of my preferred magickal tools. I have forty coloured candles in my goodies chest, now, mostly for Colourwork reasons (I’ll elaborate more on that either later, or on a purposefully witchy blog I’ll set up at some point). We’ll see how it all goes, but I’m hopeful it’ll be fulfilling.

It’s been a difficult day painwise (physio visit was NOT an immediate help with that, let me tell you, but I suppose stuff has to get more painful before it can get better), and it was disgustingly hot without warning (thanks for nothing, BOM!), but I’m happy all the same. It’s been a productive day and I hope the rest of the evening will be relaxing. Back to it after eleven tomorrow, like I said! But until then, I think I’ll just laze about in front of the telly and crochet. ♥

doing the best with what we can

| Friday, 1st December 2023

Not out of the woods yet, but at least the financial panic has abated (thanks to the generosity of some beautiful, beautiful people…I honestly cannot describe in words how thankful I am) and I’ve been medicated, so I’m sitting in a pleasant clearing, at least. I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday evening and without going into too much detail (the majority of it incredibly boring, really), I’ll just say that it left me unhappy, but at least with five free physio visits. Take the little pieces of good and cling to them like a lamprey.

(Also, if at all possible: try to never fall down the stairs. Life tip #1. Arwen’s Good Advice Book, being published by Oh God Spare Us All Press in 2024!)

I joined the TFL Secret Santa, because I loved the idea of making website goodies for someone, and I wanted to make friends, but I’m actually kind of wondering, now, if that was the best idea I’ve ever had. I think two people participating don’t like me, and certain other TFL ex-staff may have a had a word in someone else’s ear about how awful and evil and terrible I am, so…I might be making things for someone who actively dislikes me. Oh well, I guess. I don’t actually dislike any of the participants (except for one, who couldn’t even bring their grievance with me to me so I could clear the air, but instead took it to Twitter and the message boards…and even then, it’s not really dislike — I don’t know them. It’s more exasperation with their actions), and I suppose they don’t have to like me, either, really. I just have to make good gifts for my Secret Santa receiver (…Santee? that sounds a bit odd…). That was part of what I agreed to do when I signed up; make good quality gifts for anyone I was assigned to. And that’s what I’ll do, to the very best of my ability.

Think I might go have a cup of Christmas tea. ‘Tis the season, after all. 🙂

more than just an awful Colleen Hoover “book”

| Thursday, 9th November 2023

I fell of the wagon. Or maybe I was pushed, who knows. Desperate times call for desperate measures, etc.

Anyway, nicer things.

I GOT THIS FINISHED (or maybe finished…maybe I should do lyrics, as well…hmm…). I’m so proud of it, and the research I did on it would probably make my former professors all groan and facepalm (“don’t be so SERIOUS, Kirin-ssi!”) BUT~ there is it. TyoBabi is love, TyoBabi is LIFE, karaoke is fun, and music is God. (I also bent the spines of my precious first editions to get those scans, so dear god please nobody take them without credit.) I can’t wait to get the rest of City Gardening online, even though I know next to nobody cares about TB anymore. I do, and I have goodies to share. If I share ’em with no one, well…I don’t care. TB makes me happy. Precious little makes me happy as of late, so I’ll indulge in whatever does without shame.

Also got a lot of pixelly nonsense still going on! And a surprising amount of Sailor Moon whatnot. I’ll grow up one day. Maybe. Just not today. 😛

Oh yeah…I did start on my NaNo project, but…let’s be honest, I’m not sure how far I’ll get along in it. Who knows, hyperfixation may kick in and I might cough up 50k words in 12 days — it’s happened before. But if it does, yay. If it doesn’t, yay. The writing/pro-publishing community has left me with such a bad taste in my mouth, and creativity’s hard to come by when the majority of your waking hours are spent either bawling and immobile due to burning pain, or curled up in the foetal position due to overwhelming anxiety. But, you never know. Well, I certainly don’t, at least.

…best save this entry before my internet craps out on me again ><;;;

ああ、今日。 11月9日。 そうそう。 それでは、フィリア、お誕生日おめでとう！ あなたがより良い人間になったことを願っています。 少なくともあなたのために。ふふふ〜

endless chasing

| Wednesday, 12th July 2023

woke myself up this morning yelling “FWCK YOU!” in a dream/real life. other people’s abusers. i do not even put with with their swit when i’m asleep. trufax.

i just knocked back three people in a row from a joinable for not reading the rules. i’m kind of starting to despair; do people not read the actual rules despite claiming they do, or do they just think “whatever, doesn’t apply to me”? the latter would be more galling, for sure, but either way it’s just…ugh. because i’m the one who has to knock them back, which makes me the target of their ire, and i just think…is it worth it, really?

(and then someone will join, actually following the rules, with a website that puts hearts in my eyes and gives me hope for the revival of the personal internet, so…what am i even whining about, really? :P)

song of the day: “Closer”, RM (w/ Paul Blanco and Mahalia). very chill and smooth shade of blue off of his latest, Indigo, which i’m finally getting around to listening to. first thoughts? it’s not as instant a love as mono. was for me, but it’s damn good all the same. i know joonie said it was “10 Blues” in the liner notes & box art, but really, it’s a much wider palette than his previous record, and has a kind of…tanginess? (synæsthesia is gonna be the death of me)…that was present in RM, but isn’t exactly the same kind of taste, as such, either. love love love to hear his singing voice, too, which only improves the more and more he uses it ♥ (don’t be afraid of singing, you beautiful coffee-smooth baritone, you!)

sure, Jan.

| Monday, 19th June 2023

 

TFL does not approve fanlistings on a first-come first-served basis. We feel that that would be rather unfair! Applications are held for at least a week, and then the staffer goes through each application to try and select the best owner.

It’s hilarious how TFL thinks this makes them sound Fair And Balanced™ 😂 This wouldn’t lead to friends of TFL staff being granted the cherry FLs, no, of course not! They would never~

(Also: a liiiiiiiiie~ I applied for a certain FL subject once and was approved in three days. Go figure.)

may you live in ugly times.

| Thursday, 15th June 2023

Creating fanlistings has been such a belittling, nasty, backstabbing, competitive, petty, childish, and overall ugly experience that I honestly wonder if it’s worth the three seconds’ glance anyone gives any of my work.

lmfao

| Tuesday, 6th June 2023

The whole Yesterweb “movement” was like…two shades away from being an outright cult.

eh, whatever.

| Friday, 26th May 2023

Never going to understand why someone would join any of my fanlistings if they think I’m Satan (correction: I’m actually just his secretary), but hey,  if I’ve learned one thing about T(A)FL over the last three years is that they attract a very interesting breed of people.

Go fucking figure, I guess.

autoplay

| Tuesday, 9th May 2023

I have a funny feeling I’ll be screaming about this until the Wired finally burns to the ground, but: people. For the love of all and any gods, goddesses, or various higher powers. Stop. Putting. Autoplaying. Music. On. Your. Webpages. Bloody stop it already.

Why? It’s the digital equivalent of that dickhead that sits in the quiet car on the train and plays his shitty mixtape at 150dB without headphones. As I’m always saying: my friend, I am glad you enjoy your music. I would never tell you not to enjoy it. But not everyone else will, nor should they have to. Lots of people browse with their own music ALREADY playing, or a podcast, or whathaveyou. Basically, dragging your viewer into a room and screaming “LISTEN TO THIS!!!” is rude. Don’t do it.

(Plus, some of us have an exaggerated startle response, usually for Reasons, so suddenly being hit with a blast of sound when we’re not expecting it? Can literally be physically painful. Don’t equivalent-smack your visitors, kids.)

If you really, really want to share your music — and hey, I can understand that, music is great — give your visitor the option of CHOOSING when they want to hear it, if at all. Your best bet is to use a webpage playlist like Wikplayer or one of its many equivalents, and don’t set it to autoplay. Or be really old-fashioned and offer mp3 downloads like the sensible people on Web 1.0 did. Like this!

beginnings

| Thursday, 6th April 2023

Kind of forcing myself to journal. Kind of. A nice, stable HTML attempt this time around, because my goddess you have no Earthly idea how DONE I am with bloody WordPress. ClassicPress is far more tolerable, but…ugh. Can’t someone just make a nice, simple, flat-file script made specifically for blogging, not content management? Blogger ruled all back in Web 1.0’s death throes. We need a clone of that, in script form.

I’ve made a huge shift to one of my web projects, and I need to work more on it, so of course I’m in an ornery, cranky, I-only-wanna-make-pixels-and-play-BSSMAS mood. Why? …I was going to say “who knows”, but I think it’s because my physical health has taken another dive, which is unfortunate, but not wholly unexpected. I just wish I was one of those people with a kilometre-high pain threshold who can power through anything, but I’m not, so I crumble and sleep a whole lot. You can’t concentrate on making things look cute if it feels like someone is trying to drive one of those Japanese knives you pay megabucks for through your frontal lobe. Or your pelvis. You simply can’t.

…it’s 19°C and cloudy. Winter really is coming, finally. 😀 Thank goodness. My hatred of summer has worsened a thousand times since the World Fell Down; I’m actually thinking of writing a generic silly just-for-fun fantasy piece where summer is the season that’s feared above all else, not winter. I’m sick of reading about dread winters (why is there always a dread winter?)…especially when I’m reading about it while sitting beneath a screaming aircon and it’s literally 35 in the shade outside. It ruffles one slightly, shall we say.

Go away, hell season. Go far away and never come back. I want to wear comfortable clothes I can hide in, and go walking in the early mornings without getting literal heat stroke, and I want to eat yummy strawberries. (Yes, they’re a winter fruit here.) Maybe I’ll even get better. Maybe everything will get better. Just hurry, winter, hurry…

(One day I’ll see real snow. I’m sure. One day…)